i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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