i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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