i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
