I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
