he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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