I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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