OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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