But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
