I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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