Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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