He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
