You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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