She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
