i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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