I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize