I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
