Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
