I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
