it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
