when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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