I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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