Do you still have your period?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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