I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
