worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
