my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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