I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We have started to decorate penises.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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