he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
