The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
