she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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