my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
