I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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