she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
whose parrot is this?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
