Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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