is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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