dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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