You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
