I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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