You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
