Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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