Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize