Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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