Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
