I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I am naked and annoyed.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize