okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
