so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
