Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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