He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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