hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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