if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
