god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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