Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
