We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
