did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
