New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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