Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
