one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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