i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The power of my boobs compel you
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
