Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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