I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
