I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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