HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
