This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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